30-2 Days of Writing/Life with Earl: Whatever, dude (17/28)
Life With Earl is a semi-regular feature on A ‘lil HooHaa. For the back story, click “Earl” at the top of the page to see past stories. This is a shorter version of Earl than I’d normally do… but Earl was in a bit of a rush today.
For those who don’t know Earl, allow me to tell you something about him — he loves donuts. When I say love, I mean full-out, unadulterated, unhealthy love.
There are often times we meet Earl at the local Dunkin’ Donuts to chat about what’s going on in the world.
Sometimes, though, it can be hard to absorb Earl’s obsession with donuts.
See, whenever Earl finds out about something — like when it’s time to make the donuts — he’ll go off into an excited tangent. That usually means one of us — me, Jay or the Big Easy — will be getting a call exclaiming pure excitement about the donut and Earl’s love of said donut.
That’s why the early morning wakeup call both surprised me and didn’t surprise me.
“WOOOOOO WEEEEE P.J.!! THERE”S A NEW DONUT!”
“Hi, Earl. Thanks for waking me up for that news report.”
“THERE’S RED VELVET DONUTS AT THE DUNK! RED VELVET! DID YOU HEAR ME? RED VELVET!!”
“I heard you, Earl. No need to shout. It’s six a.m. on a Sunday for goodness sake.”
“THIS IS AWESOME THOUGH!”
“Earl, calm down. It’s red velvet. You realize it’s a cake with some food coloring, right? And I think that donut has been out for a few months. I thought it left with the holidays?”
“NO WAY DUDE! I JUST SAW THE SIGN IN THE WINDOW! WE NEED TO GO!”
Usually, I’m all about meeting up with Earl. See, Earl is a constant source of entertainment for those who know him. And, well, even for some who don’t know him. And, often when he calls, we’ll all get together and go see Earl because we never know what’s on his mind.
This time wasn’t one of them.
Especially at 6 a.m.
Over a donut that may or may not still be in production. But the sign says different.
I just couldn’t handle Earl at this moment. And I needed to get rid of him and turn the phone on silent. So I did it quick.
To read other stories about Earl, click here.
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