30 Minus 2 Days of Writing: Friendship (4/28)
The past two years of my life have been some of the toughest I’ve been through.
My world shook hardcore on Feb. 11, 2011 when my position was cut at my job. At that point, I was arrogant enough to think I’d have a job quick enough. Not so. Fast forward to February 2013, I’m in the same situation. No job. Savings taking a beating and wondering what’s going to happen.
I know I’m not the only one in this situation. I know some people, in my field and out of it, have been out of work longer. I’ve applied for jobs in and out of my field, including employment doing just about anything. No luck. Maybe for some I’m “overqualified” (I hate that term — in this economy, nobody is overqualified), maybe in others I wasn’t what they were looking for. But in the end, I have nothing.
Over this time, I’ve discovered a lot of things — both about myself and about friends and family.
If this had happened to me thousands of miles from my home area, I’d have been truly screwed. I don’t know what I would have done or how I would have lasted. The support system has been amazing.
Here’s one thing, though. You truly see what friendship is about.
I’m sure, at times, I haven’t been the best person to be around. I don’t want to make excuses, but sometimes I can’t be blamed. After all, it really is tough to watch people your age, a bit younger, or slightly older, being highly successful and doing well. It’s not jealousy, rather a reflection of how your own life has unfolded.
Believe me, I’m not a happy person. Not with where I am in my life or the direction I have gone. I wonder why I spent so much on the education that is preached one needs to get ahead. I wonder if I am ever going to get out of debt. Hell, I wonder if I’m ever going to be able to pay my student loans.
So, at times, being friendly is hard. It’s hard seeing all the cheery and happy things online in places such as Facebook. Going to events around here is tough because it’s rare to not get asked about the job situation.
That’s where you really find out what friendship is about. And you know who your true friends are. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t blessed.
People who know me can likely attest to me being a proud person. Sometimes, my pride can probably get the best of me. I know this. For example, despite my financial situation, I still don’t like people buying me a beer, or not letting me pay for gas on a road trip. Or buying me lunch when hanging out.
Friends still insist on doing it. They don’t let your pride get in the way. Whether it’s something I mentioned above, a round a disc golf, a day of geocaching, or just sitting around and having a BS session on things not related to the job hunt, friends know what to do.
I try and show my appreciation and I hope I do. Believe me, when (yes, when) I dig myself out of this hole, I’ll be the same way.
I’ve had some emotional days over the past two years. Some have been anger, some have been sadness, some have felt like full emotional breakdowns. I’m sure everybody goes through these emotions in these situations.
But I’ve learned a lot about friendship in these two years. Whether the best of friends or casual acquaintances, you get to see who is true and who isn’t.
I have a new appreciation for friends and friendship and it’s the one positive I can take away from the past two years.
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