30 Minus 2 Days of Writing: Friendship (4/28)

Feb 04

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The past two years of my life have been some of the toughest I’ve been through.

My world shook hardcore on Feb. 11, 2011 when my position was cut at my job. At that point, I was arrogant enough to think I’d have a job quick enough. Not so. Fast forward to February 2013, I’m in the same situation. No job. Savings taking a beating and wondering what’s going to happen.

I know I’m not the only one in this situation. I know some people, in my field and out of it, have been out of work longer. I’ve applied for jobs in and out of my field, including employment doing just about anything. No luck. Maybe for some I’m “overqualified” (I hate that term — in this economy, nobody is overqualified), maybe in others I wasn’t what they were looking for. But in the end, I have nothing.

Over this time, I’ve discovered a lot of things — both about myself and about friends and family.

If this had happened to me thousands of miles from my home area, I’d have been truly screwed. I don’t know what I would have done or how I would have lasted. The support system has been amazing.

Here’s one thing, though. You truly see what friendship is about.

I’m sure, at times, I haven’t been the best person to be around. I don’t want to make excuses, but sometimes I can’t be blamed. After all, it really is tough to watch people your age, a bit younger, or slightly older, being highly successful and doing well. It’s not jealousy, rather a reflection of how your own life has unfolded.

Believe me, I’m not a happy person. Not with where I am in my life or the direction I have gone. I wonder why I spent so much on the education that is preached one needs to get ahead. I wonder if I am ever going to get out of debt. Hell, I wonder if I’m ever going to be able to pay my student loans.

So, at times, being friendly is hard. It’s hard seeing all the cheery and happy things online in places such as Facebook. Going to events around here is tough because it’s rare to not get asked about the job situation.

That’s where you really find out what friendship is about. And you know who your true friends are. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t blessed.

People who know me can likely attest to me being a proud person. Sometimes, my pride can probably get the best of me. I know this. For example, despite my financial situation, I still don’t like people buying me a beer, or not letting me pay for gas on a road trip. Or buying me lunch when hanging out.

Friends still insist on doing it. They don’t let your pride get in the way. Whether it’s something I mentioned above, a round a disc golf, a day of geocaching, or just sitting around and having a BS session on things not related to the job hunt, friends know what to do.

I try and show my appreciation and I hope I do. Believe me, when (yes, when) I dig myself out of this hole, I’ll be the same way.

I’ve had some emotional days over the past two years. Some have been anger, some have been sadness, some have felt like full emotional breakdowns. I’m sure everybody goes through these emotions in these situations.

But I’ve learned a lot about friendship in these two years. Whether the best of friends or casual acquaintances, you get to see who is true and who isn’t.

I have a new appreciation for friends and friendship and it’s the one positive I can take away from the past two years.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog [at] gmail.com. Also, please “Like” HooHaa Blog on Facebook!

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32 comments

  1. When you get frustrated at your friends wanting to help you out; be it a beer, lunch or whatever… reverse it in your mind.
    Imagine you are working and a good friend is having a tough time- you would do the same thing and not even think about it…
    Friends don’t keep score. They just want to be there for you.
    Simply they just want to spend time with their FRIEND.
    Hang in there!
    Barb recently posted..#4 FriendshipMy Profile

  2. Times are hard for a lot of people, and I expect you will work your way out of this. Your new appreciation for friendship and declaration of giving back are indeed good things to take from your situation. Good luck and Blessings in your endeavors.
    Linda recently posted..Quote of the WeekMy Profile

  3. It’s great you have a network of friends to help get yu through the tough times. I hope things improve for you soon!
    nonamedufus recently posted..30DW2-2 – Day 4: FriendshipMy Profile

  4. When the road gets rocky is truly when you can tell who your real friends are. I’m glad you have good friends to help you on the way, and I know they’ll be happy to let you buy them a beer when you finally turn your situation around. Until then, if you ever find yourself in Finland and in need of a friend or a beer or both, give me a call. ;)
    Ziva recently posted..FriendshipMy Profile

    • Oh so true, Ziva. The real friends are definitely there for you. As for that Finland thing — you never know. It’s actually on my list of places I’d love to visit one day!

  5. I’ve been right where you are, PJ. It totally sucks. Here’s to all the friends, both online and in person who have helped me get through it. When you’re a blogger, you’re never far from friends!
    Boom Boom recently posted..Friendship (30M2DW: Day 4)My Profile

  6. I am blessed with having some really great friends…the only bad thing is they are far too many miles away from me and I can’t do the “crying on their shoulder” thing on the phone no matter how hard I try. I have no real family anymore, other than my two kids, but they are kids…and they’re supposed to learn from you. Sometimes I feel I’m more of a bad example than a good one.

    They say that God only gives you as much as you can handle – I know I’m not this strong and you probably feel the same way, too.

    Here’s hoping you don’t have to ride that low wave much longer.

    Mariann
    Mariann recently posted..The Melty ManMy Profile

  7. Hey P.J., this must have been a toughie to write. I take my hat off to you, I’ve had my own tough times and have never been able to commit it to an entry. But you’re right; friendship keeps us afloat. Keep at it, there are better times to come. Indigo
    Indigo Roth recently posted..A Little Fresh For MeMy Profile

    • Sometimes, these posts are easier than they seem. It’s almost a way to put it all out there. Believe me, I have several “drafts” of other posts that I tossed aside thinking it was too much. Maybe one day when it’s all better, I’ll post them as “written when…” type of things.

  8. Friends are the ones who are there when you are at your most vulnerable.
    laughingmom recently posted..30 Days of Writing Minus 2 – FriendshipMy Profile

  9. I am fortunate to have a job but if things don’t pick up, who knows? I took an exam this morning for a job with the County (just in case) … cruddy job market, I know. I wish you the best ~

    • It’s the worst part of this. I could find a job next week and be out in a year. It’s a sad thing right now, that’s for sure.

  10. Friends are friends in good times and bad. They spring for lunch or a beer this time, you’ll spring the next. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that things pick up for you soon, P.J.
    Nicky recently posted..It’s Why I BlogMy Profile

  11. Things will come together P.J., and yeah, friendship is something that’s priceless and really beyond measure. Great post, dude.

  12. I’m not sure what I can add to this except to also wish you the best.
    Paul Myers recently posted..Flashback FridayMy Profile

  13. If there were ever a silver lining to find in all of this, realizing that you’re surrounded by people who care about you is perhaps one of the greatest discoveries of them all.

    I know times are hard right now, but it makes me glad to know that you can still find hope in the love and companionship of your friends. I wish you nothing but the best.

    • I hope that is the silver lining when all is said and done. But when in this situation, it’s unfortunately tough to see a silver lining. Hopefully, that changes.

  14. This is beautiful. So raw. So honest…. amazing writing and story.
    Katherine recently posted..You Better Put OutMy Profile

  15. Hey, thanks for stopping by my blog, via WWFC and I am very glad I came here. I can relate to what you’re going through. Many people where I live have been jobless for over 2 years now. It’s frustrating. It’s upsetting. It’s downright miserable. But, you’re 100% right, when you said times like these teach you who your REAL friends are. And you are indeed blessed to have such a wonderful support system of friends!
    meleah rebeccah recently posted..The Reason Why – I Am The Queen of TMIMy Profile

    • It’s a said situation. Hopefully it will improve, but the people in the government have to help the people, too! And friends have saved me from going to a dark place — of that I’m sure!

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