50 questions that free your mind: No. 9

As part of my Day Zero Project, I will be answering the 50 Questions That Free Your Mind. For each of these, I will blog an answer and then it will be linked here as well. Some of these will have longer responses, some will be extremely short. But by the end of the Day Zero Project, I will have answered all of these.

No. 9: To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

As much as I hate to say it, I wonder if I have controlled much of it.

This question seems to be somewhat close to No. 8 in that one is supposed to think about controlling life/worrying about a life span.

So back to this one.

Life has thrown all sorts of curves, slurves and knucklers at me. I usually figure a way around them. But I haven’t really controlled things, per say.

I’m definitely not where I thought or would have wanted to be at this point in life. I went to college late, I got a job I always thought I never would have or would want and then that job eventually dropped me on my head, despite doing really solid work and being a benefit to the company.

That being said, it’s never too late, is it?

With everything that has gone on in my world over the past year or so, I’m doing all I can to take control. I’ve expanded this blog as one of those things and I’ve been working on an idea for another large product, if it all goes well.

And I keep looking for work that will make me feel fulfilled and like I’m controlling my world.

Now, as for the course my life has taken, of course I have controlled that. I’ve made choices. I’ve made decisions. I need to live with the results of those decisions, good or bad. So that control has been done. Next up I have to take control of things that happen after I make those decisions. I hope that makes sense.

If not, allow me to try and clean it up.

My life has taken twists and turns — as most people’s lives have. I’ve controlled the decisions to make me get to certain points. But there are some points in the last year where I’ve had no control. And that’s really made me spiral a little because the point I am currently at is not of my choosing.

However…

I’m trying to get that control back. Because in the end, though I was put where I am with something out of my control, in the end I have to be in control.

So I’m working on that.

And hopefully, when all is said and done, I’ll be back in total control of the direction I am headed!

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